Hanging it up...

I am not sure how many times I have had to tell myself it is better to be kind than to be right in the last 9 months. My character has been challenged to its roots and I have seen some very ugly sides of people, people that I believed I knew well. I have been proven wrong and been smacked in the face with the unfortunate realization it is better to expect nothing, than to expect anything at all.
Although disappointed and exhausted, I have hung up the heavy coat of expectations, anger and resentment. I no longer have any expectations, I am no longer angry and I no longer resent. As comforting as it would be to keep wearing that coat, I am finding that it no longer fits me and my back hurts from the heaviness. I have grown out of its comfort. The comfort of staying angry at someone and only remembering the moments which took me to the point of no return. I can no longer carry the weight it has placed on my back, I realize it is only weighing me down, and the people that have given me the love and faith I have needed are being dragged down right along with me. Undeserving of it to say the least.
There is no need to be vengeful or for ill wishes. None of us are born to teach others lessons by force. Life will do it for us and we can only hope someone's fall will not be as hard as our own. Even if they were the cause of ours. It is still better to be kind than to be right, and to stop drinking that poison of resentment hoping your enemy, instead of you, will get sick from it. It is still wiser to know what people do to you is their karma and how you react is yours. Finally, it is better to be naked than to be clothed by the people you allow to anger, disappoint and hurt you.
Clothe yourself, shift your focus on the love that has kept you and wish life will be kind to those that have not been so kind to it.

Self Love

"Self-love seems so often unrequited." ~ Anthony Powell

When you sit alone and think about your life, are you proud of yourself? Are you content with the decisions you have made which has paved the path you are on? Can you look in the mirror and say with conviction and truth " I LOVE ME!"? My hope for you is that you have answered yes to all of these questions. For those of us who have answered no, it is time we learn the art of self love.

"To tell the truth is to become beautiful, to begin to love yourself, value yourself..." ~ June Jordan

Accept yourself as you are above all else. Acceptance is recognizing your imperfections make you perfect. It is being honest with yourself about who you truly are. Self acceptance does not mean there is no chance for improvement, it is actually stepping into reality and using it as the stepping stone towards what you would like to be, towards change. Accept yourself, embrace your imperfections and take the first step towards your desired chosen path.


"If you must love your neighbor as yourself, it is at least as fair to love yourself as your neighbor." ~ Nicholas de Chamfort

Accept others as they are. Recognizing your imperfections make you perfect, will also make you realize others' imperfections make them perfect as well. The best way to nurture and love ourselves as we are, is to nurture and love our neighbors as they are. If you want love, give love to yourself, and then to others. "Be the change you wish to see in the world." ~Mahatma Gandhi

 "Plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers." ~ Veronica A. Shoffstall

Plant your roses and take the time to smell them. Take care of your garden, water the grass and walk in it barefoot. Enjoy the way the dirt feels in your hands and what has come out of accepting that dirt serves a greater purpose than to just smudge our character. It is used to make beautiful flowers, trees, and grass grow. No other person will be able to take better care of your garden or appreciate the unconditional love put into it better than you. It's time, love yourself.

Have the Courage to Walk alone-my post on PurposeFairy.com

The woman who follows the crowd will usually go no further than the crowd. The woman who walks alone is likely to find herself in places no one has ever been before. ~ Albert Einstein
This is one of my very favorite quotes. It celebrates individuality and embraces the idea that in order to live, we must not follow, but lead ourselves.
So often we all fall into the assumptions life should be lived according to what our religions, traditions or learned moral values teach us. The comfort of knowing what is expected drives most to live a predictable life. We all get into a routine and when we begin to wonder where life went, we are old and gray, regretting all the things we did not do. Many of us day dream about things we are only brave enough to do in our imagination and when it comes to taking that first step to putting that dream to work, we doubt ourselves.
We doubt because we allow fear to question our commitment to the crowd; we allow fear to convince us we will be scolded and shunned for taking that first step to walk alone; we assume traditions and moral values are beliefs which cannot be bent or edited to become our own version.
Whatever is done for love always occurs beyond good and evil. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche
When you are struggling with taking that first step to walk alone, ask yourself if that step is done for LOVE. LOVE for yourself and LOVE for LIFE. Often times we allow ourselves to stay stuck in a bad, miserable or unhealthy situation because we are afraid of the backlash we may get from the crowd if we decide to leave. If you live your LIFE with LOVE as your main driver, you will only reciprocate that energy and more will come right back to you.
There are old heads in the world who cannot help me by their example or advice to live worthily and satisfactorily to myself; but I believe that it is in my power to elevate myself this very hour above the common level of my life. ~ Henry David Thoreau
In a crowd, people are like each other and strive to be so. Walking alone, your example is yourself. You learn to be better than you were yesterday and realize dictating your own life is more beneficial than using someone else as your example to be like. Many influential people in the world walked alone, they realized their potential was only limited when they compared themselves to someone else.
It’s not what you are that holds you back, It’s what you think you’re not. ~ Denis Waitley




http://www.purposefairy.com/6696/have-the-courage-to-walk-alone/

Joy Thieves

I am a private person when it comes to things that are happening in my life. I will only spill the beans if I know people are speculating. Otherwise, I will keep things to myself. One main reason is because I do not believe most people can genuinely be happy for one another. If they appear to be in your face, they are usually going behind your back bashing whatever you are happy about. Joy Thieves.
Although disappointing, I am learning people project their own morality or traditions when they are sharing or not sharing joy with someone. We cannot expect people to be happy for us if their traditions or moral values are on the other side of spectrum of ours. For example, gay marriage. A gay couple may be ecstatic about getting married and hope that everyone else will share that joy with them, we all know not everyone feels that gay marriage is appropriate and are not going to share that joy. They will bash the idea and throw God, Jesus, the bible, hell and whatever else they can find on that couple. Joy Thieves. Another example, someone has been working very hard on getting a promotion at work. They are well deserving of it once they get it; however, coworkers start talking negatively about this person out of jealousy and make things very uncomfortable for the employee who got the promotion. Joy thieves.

It happens all of the time and as unfortunate as it seems, we all have to learn to keep the good news to ourselves and to accept, that when the good news is told, not everyone will share our joy. Just don't allow for them to steal yours.

Salvador Dali's The 3 Sphinxes

25 reasons to embrace criticism

25 reasons to embrace criticism

Personal Growth

1. Looking for seeds of truth in criticism encourages humility. It’s not easy to take an honest look at yourself and your weaknesses, but you can only grow if you’re willing to try.
2. Learning from criticism allows you to improve. Almost every critique gives you a tool to more effectively create the tomorrow you visualize.
3. Criticism opens you up to new perspectives and new ideas you may not have considered. Whenever someone challenges you, they help expand your thinking.
4. Your critics give you an opportunity to practice active listening. This means you resist the urge to analyze in your head, planning your rebuttal, and simply consider what the other person is saying.
5. You have the chance to practice forgiveness when you come up against harsh critics. Most of us carry around stress and frustration that we unintentionally misdirect from time to time.

Emotional Benefits

6. It’s helpful to learn how to sit with the discomfort of an initial emotional reaction instead of immediately acting or retaliating. All too often we want to do something with our feelings—generally not a great idea!
7. Criticism gives you the chance to foster problem solving skills, which isn’t always easy when you’re feeling sensitive, self-critical, or annoyed with your critic.
8. Receiving criticism that hits a sensitive spot helps you explore unresolved issues. Maybe you’re sensitive about your intelligence because you’re holding onto something someone said to you years ago—something you need to release.
9. Interpreting someone else’s feedback is an opportunity for rational thinking—sometimes, despite a negative tone, criticism is incredibly useful.

10. Criticism encourages you to question your instinctive associations and feelings; praise is good, criticism is bad. If we recondition ourselves to see things in less black and white terms, there’s no stop to how far we can go!

Improved Relationships

11. Criticism presents an opportunity to choose peace over conflict. Oftentimes, when criticized our instinct is to fight, creating unnecessary drama. The people around us generally want to help us, not judge us.
12. Fielding criticism well helps you mitigate the need to be right. Nothing closes an open mind like ego—bad for your personal growth, and damaging for relationships.
13. Your critics give you an opportunity to challenge any people-pleasing tendencies. Relationships based on a constant need for approval can be draining for everyone involved. It’s liberating to let people think whatever they want—they’re going to do it anyway.
14. Criticism gives you the chance to teach people how to treat you. If someone delivers it poorly, you can take this opportunity to tell them, “I think you make some valid points, but I would receive them better if you didn’t raise your voice.”
15. Certain pieces of criticism teach you not to sweat the small stuff. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t matter that your boyfriend thinks you load the dishwasher “wrong.”

Time Efficiency

16. The more time you spend dwelling about what someone said, the less time you have to do something with it.
17. If you improve how you operate after receiving criticism, this will save time and energy in the future. When you think about from that perspective—criticism as a time saver—it’s hard not to appreciate it!
18. Fostering the ability to let go of your feelings and thoughts about being critiqued can help you let go in other areas of your life. Letting go of worries, regrets, stresses, fears, and even positive feelings helps you root yourself in the present moment. Mindfulness is always the most efficient use of time.
19. Criticism reinforces the power of personal space. Taking 10 minutes to process your emotions, perhaps by writing in a journal, will ensure you respond well. And responding the well the first time prevents one critical comment from dominating your day.
20. In some cases, criticism teaches you how to interact with a person, if they’re negative or hostile, for example. Knowing this can save you a lot of time and stress in the future.

Self Confidence

21. Learning to receive false criticism—feedback that has no constructive value—without losing your confidence is a must if you want to do big things in life. The more attention your work receives, the more criticism you’ll have to field.
22. When someone criticizes you, it shines a light on your own insecurities. If you secretly agree that you’re lazy, you should get to the root of that. Why do you believe that—and what can you do about it?
23. Learning to move forward after criticism, even if you don’t feel incredibly confident, ensures no isolated comment prevents you from seizing your dreams. Think of it as separating the wheat from the chaff; takes what’s useful, leave the rest, and keep going!
24. When someone else appraises your harshly, you have an opportunity to monitor your internal self-talk. Research indicates up to 80% of our thoughts are negative. Take this opportunity to monitor and change your thought processes so you don’t drain and sabotage yourself!
25. Receiving feedback well reminds you it’s OK to have flaws—imperfection is part of being human. If you can admit weakness and work on them without getting down on yourself, you’ll experience far more happiness, peace, enjoyment, and success.
We are all perfectly imperfect, and other people may notice that from time to time. We may even notice in it each other.

copied from http://tinybuddha.com/blog/how-to-deal-with-criticism-well-25-reasons-to-embrace-it/

Whose life are you living?

Once in a while, I have several days of heavy self reflection. I tend to retreat from the world and analyze every thought that flows through my mind. I take the time to be honest with myself and confess to the person I truly am what I want out of my life. With the many changes I have had the pleasure of experiencing this past year, I have learned a lot about myself and have become less tolerant of the thoughts, things and people who I feel no longer serve the betterment of me. I have also come to realize I continuously seek everybody else's approval before confirming my own. Do they really have the answers I need for my life? Not exactly. After all, whose life am I living? Mine or theirs? I value advice and often ask my closest confidants for them; however, the journey I am on is mine and mine alone.I am fully aware that every decision I make is guaranteed to affect at least one person in my life, and with that awareness, I am learning to trust myself and make every decision out of love and not anger or fear. I can honestly say the decisions I have made out of love since January 1st, 2012 have made me feel more in-tune with what I desire out of life. It has provided me with a clear picture of what I want my reflective end to look like and it has validated the trust I have in myself. It has quieted the negative audience members and it has welcomed in the ones who can see and appreciate my growth. There are still many things I am working on to ensure I am living MY life and not a life that is approved by everyone else. Reflecting back, that first step was the most difficult and I would be lying if I said I have not had some challenging stretches, but that first step was worth it and with every challenge I have picked up a lesson from it, added to my lessons learned and will continue to apply to the life that I am living...which is mine.

Painting by Jose Roosevelt

Baggage

"Our baggage is only as heavy as we pack it. So pack light, for you will not be able to enjoy the journey if what you carry is weighing you down..." ~10LE


During our journey, we collect many things. We pack it all into our suitcases and carry it around with us. If one were to open our baggage, one would find our memories, our pains, our joys, our resentments, our loves, our hates, our secrets, our fears, our worries and our dreams. The heaviest items are the ones that are folded and packed with sadness, fears, anger, worry and resentment. The lightest items are the ones that are folded and packed with love, joys, compassion and our dreams. It seems to me most people pack the heavier things and only make small room for the lighter items. We then wonder why life is so difficult. Why we always feel weighed down. Why we have problems that never seem to go away. Why we have animosity with people. Why love never finds us. Why we sabotage ourselves. Open your suitcase and check your inventory. What are you carrying around? If it is the heavier things, unpack; Donate it to forgiveness, letting go and God. The souvenirs you take from your journey should be the ones you can admire with understanding, acceptance and learning. Fill your suitcase with the lighter things and allow it to carry YOU.

Painting by Jose Roosevelt

I am what I am

I am what I am. Proud of what I am. Regret only when I was not what I am. Am telling you now, your approval and opinion of the person that I am is none of my concern. Your religions, traditions, listeners and characters are of no validity to the delusional stories you tell of me. With this, every opinion and judgement of me, I give back to you in the finest wrapping topped with a BIG RED BOW. May life treat you kinder than you treat IT.  ~10LE

Sometimes, words are just not needed.

9 Reasons Why You Should No Longer Care About People’s Approval

A truly strong person does not need the approval of others any more than a lion needs the approval of sheep.” Vernon Howard
Approval Seeking Behavior… If you ask me, this is where many of our challenges start. When you are too concerned with what other people think of you, you start sabotaging your life, and you start moving forward but with the breaks on.
“Care about people’s approval and you will be their prisoner”  Lao Tzu
If you want to live life the way WE want to and not the way others would want us to, we need to let go of our constant need to control what other people think of us, we need to learn to let go of our approval seeking behavior. I know that this is not always an easy task to do and that is exactly why I decided to write about the 9 reasons why you should no longer care about what others think or say of you, to point out some of the things we all know but we just need to be reminded of from time to time.

1. You Simply Can’t Be Liked by Everybody

No matter how much you try and no matter how “nice” you are with people, you simply can’t have everybody like you for there will always be people who will continue talking about you and your “inappropriate” way of thinking, behaving, breathing, dressing, living, etc.
“You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.” Winston Churchill

2. You Can Live a Happy Life Without “Their” Approval

You are not less or more of a person based on how many people like and approve of you. While growing up we were told that in order to be liked by others we must be nice to people and we are, but somehow we keep encountering people that don’t seem to like us. So why is that? Is there something wrong with us? Not really. Just because some people don’t like us, does not imply that there is something wrong with us, for that is not true. You are already, whole and complete and you don’t need other people’s approval in order to feel this way. How freeing is that?
“Self-worth comes from one thing – thinking that you are worthy.” Wayne Dyer

3. You Can’t Control What Other People Think of You

 I came to the realization that we all live in different worlds, a different reality for each and every one of us, reality that was built based on our thoughts, beliefs, experiences, based on what we were taught while growing up. What I might see as being right, other people might see as being wrong, and what I might see as being beautiful other people might see as being ugly.
We all have a different perception on how life should be lived and how people should act, and instead of wasting your time thinking about what other people think and say of you, why not spend that time improving and growing yourself, knowing that: “Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocre minds. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously uses his intelligence.” Einstein

4. Approval Seeking Behavior is Time Consuming

It take a lot of your time, time that can be used to do the things that you really enjoy doing.

5. Approval Seeking Behavior Drains Your Energy.

Every time you spend time thinking and talking about what X or Y said about you, not only are you wasting your time, but you are also wasting your precious energy.

6. Freedom to Be Who You Want to Be

When you no longer care about what other people think of you, you start being yourself and you start behaving the way you always wanted but you couldn’t because of all the restrictions and limits you imposed on yourself. You have no idea how much freedom comes with letting go of your need to control what other people think of you. Just give it a chance and you will understand what I am talking about.

7. Inner Peace

We all seek peace and we all want to be happy and the moment you stop caring about what “they” think, you will find just that.
“When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others.” Peace Pilgrim

8. You Are The One In Control of Your Life, Not Them!

Mind your own business and live your life, the way you want to, the way it best suits you, and let go of your approval seeking behavior.
“The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you’ll be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.” Arthur Gordon

9. The ONLY Person You Must Get Approval From Is YOU!

If you like and approve of yourself, believe me, it will no longer matter if people say nice things about you or not, for you will understand: “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” Carl Jung
You get to a point where you know, them talking about you has little or nothing to do with how you think, act, live, etc., but a lot to do with how they think, and who they perceive reality. A lot of times, what we can’t accept in others are the things we haven’t accepted in ourselves, whether we are consciously aware of this truth or not.
“When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself as someone who needs to judge.” Wayne Dyer

http://www.purposefairy.com/5212/9-reasons-why-you-should-no-longer-care-about-peoples-approval/

When what you have always desired is at your feet....

...pick it up, carry it by your heart and know you are deserving. If you have ever asked for something or envisioned it, it will present itself to you; sometimes in unexpected ways. It knows timing better than anything and will not acknowledge fear, doubt or ill wishes from outside influences. It will not attempt to explain itself or have the need to convince anyone of anything. It will dance with intuition and instinct and will have coffee with faith. It will never sympathize with misery and will always empathize with will. It knows you better than you know yourself because in the end, you are your thoughts and the desires you project to the world.

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony" ~Gandhi.

Painting by Jose Roosevelt

"Why Have Good When You Can Have Better?"

"As I look back on my life, I realize that every time I thought I was being rejected from something good, I was actually being re-directed to something better.” Steve Maraboli
A lot of times we get so caught up in our so called problems, in sweating the small stuff, chasing after one thing or another, chasing after all kinds of things we want but don’t really need, holding on to people that shouldn’t really be in our life anymore, that we simply can’t realize that by letting go of all of them, we could actually be on our way towards achieving far greater things.
So what if we learn to say “NO” to the good, so we can embrace and say “YES” to the best that is waiting for us out there? Whenever you’ re not feeling at peace, whenever you’re not feeling joyful and content, that is the moment for you to pause and analyze your current life, because all of those things are a sign that you are holding on to things, people, ideas, thoughts,  that are no longer good for you, and you might want to consider letting go of them.
Whenever you are resisting what is, whenever you are trying to force events to happen in a certain way, you are in fact working against the flow of life, and instead of going with it you are going against it, and this will be a battle you’ll never win.
Think about it, is it really worth it? Are you that afraid of the unknown that you are willing to continue to struggle and perhaps live a life that isn’t satisfying to you or to others? Are you so afraid of taking risks, are you so afraid of change that you are willing to give up on your right to really be happy, on your right to enjoy the many incredible things that you could do, the many incredible things that are waiting for you out there?
“If you cannot risk, you cannot grow. If you cannot grow, you cannot become your best. If you cannot become your best, you cannot be happy. And if you cannot be happy, what else matters?” David Viscott
Why choose to be your own worst enemy? Are you afraid that they might judge you, are you afraid that you will end up all alone? It’s true that it’s not so crowded along the extra mile, but it is also true that those people who are brave enough to go the extra mile are also the people who you and I look up to, right? Those are the people who inspire us, who make us dream big dreams and hope for a better life. Those are the people who know how to only focus on those things that they do want and ignore those things that they don’t need. Those are the people who expect the best from life and as a result, they receive the best from life, for what you focus on expands and the more you focus on the good, the more that good will multiply.
“Are your thoughts worthy of you? If not – NOW is the time to change them. You can begin right were you are right now. Nothing matters but this moment and what you are focusing your attention on.” Rhonda Byrne
So what do you say? Do you think you can let go of whatever is it that you are holding on to and say yes to change? Do you think you have what it takes to embrace the unknown and embark on a new journey of self discovery? What do you have to lose? Your sorrows, you unhappiness?
“Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go.” Herman Hesse

http://www.purposefairy.com/6115/why-have-good-when-you-can-have-better/

Mottos

My Mottos:

"What people do to me is their karma, what I do to people is mine"

"It is always better to be kind than to be right"

"Opinions are like buttholes, everyone has one and will always have one"

However, certain events have tested the nature of my character to its very core. I am thankful because I have learned a lot about myself in these last 6 months. To explain what has challenged my mottos:

"What people do to me is their karma, what I do to people is mine"

I have a difficult time understanding the malice the human ego tries to commit and the lie it tells itself when it does. Ego: "If I am hurtful to someone, I win." The truth: If you are hurtful to someone, you are hurting yourself. You are projecting negativity which will reciprocate and return to you. Another lie the Ego tells: "I have nothing to learn because I know all" The truth: No lessons learned means no growth. We all grow spiritually, emotionally and socially if we open ourselves up to learning from whatever experience we are facing. Growth will allow problems to only become challenges and is the foundation for improvements, achievements and success.

"It is always better to be kind than to be right"

This can tie into the karma motto, however, it is difficult to remember this motto when you are being verbally attacked or your character is being slandered. When we experience someones misery and are the target of  verbal attacks, it is almost natural to become defensive and let the ego speak for us. However, becoming defensive takes away all rational thinking which take away our power to realize being right is often times less important than being kind. A defensive person is a weak person who does not think highly of themselves and believes they have to fight to prove to everyone something they themselves do not really believe. If we believe we are good people, there would not be any need to prove it to anyone. If you know you are kind, always be it. Even if a person's misery tries to drag you into being its company and serves you from the defensive menu

"Opinions are like buttholes, everyone has one and will always have one"

I firmly believe people see me only based on how they see themselves first. To some I am an angel, to some I am the devil, to some I am stupid, to some I am smart, to some I am a winner and to some I am a loser.  We are all experiencing life in our own ways and our unique experiences drive us to make the appropriate decisions we feel we should make. However, every decision we make will attract opinions from people. Some invited, and some not. Some positive and some not. We are all guilty of having an opinion on someones decision and judging the way they choose to experience their life. What we have to remember is that opinions are like buttholes, everyone will have one. In the end, nobody is living your life but you. If you continue to remember that what you do to people is your karma, it is best to be kind than to be right and that people will talk regardless, you will save yourself a lot of unnecessary mental noise.

So here is to life's mottos!

10LE's "Across the Universe"

15 Powerful Things Happy People Do Differently

1. LOVE vs. FEAR. Well, I can tell you for sure that those people who are really happy, FEAR less and LOVE a lot more. They see each moment, each challenge, each person as an opportunity to discover more about themselves and the world around them.
2. ACCEPTANCE vs. RESISTANCE.  Happy people understand that you can’t really change a situation by resisting it, but you can definitely change it by accepting that it is there and by understanding that there might be a reason for its existence. When something unpleasant happens to them, they don’t try to fight it, knowing that this will make the situation even worse, but rather, they ask themselves questions like: What can I learn from this? How can I make this better? and they go from there, focusing on the positive rather than on the negative. They always seem to see the glass half full no matter what happens to them.
3. FORGIVENESS vs. NOT FORGIVING. Really happy people know that it’s not healthy to hold on to anger. They choose to FORGIVE and FORGET, understanding that FORGIVENESS is  a gift they give to themselves first and foremost.
“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”Buddha
4. TRUST vs. DOUBT. They trust themselves and they trust the people around them. No matter if they talk to the cleaning lady or the C.E.O. of a multi billion company, somehow they always seem make the person they are interacting with feel like there is something unique and special about them.
They understand that beliefs become self-fulfilling prophecies, and because of that, they make sure to treat everybody with love, dignity and respect, making no distinctions between age, sex, social status, color, religion or race. These are the great men that Mark Twain was talking about: “Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.” Mark Twain
5. MEANING vs. AMBITION.  They do the things they do because of the meaning it brings into their lives and because they get a sense of purpose by doing so. They understand that “Doing what you love is the cornerstone of having abundance in your life” like Wayne Dyer puts it, and they care more about living a life full of meaning rather than, what in our modern society we would call, living a successful life.
The irony here is that most of the time they get both, success and meaning, just because they choose to focus on doing the things they love the most and they always pursue their heart desires. They are not motivated by money; they want to make a difference in the lives of those around them and in the world.
6. PRAISING vs. CRITICIZING. Happy people would probably agree with Carl’s Jung theory on resistance: “What you resist not only persists, but will grow in size”. They don’t criticize the absence of the behavior they want to reinforce, but rather, every time the behavior is present, even if it’s not that often, they know that by praising the person and the behavior, they will actually reinforce the positive behavior.
When a parent wants to make sure that his 7 years old boy will learn to always put the toys back in the box after he’s done playing with them, he will make sure not to focus on the many times the child won’t do it, criticizing him and his behavior, but rather, every time the little boy does put the toys back, the parent will praise him and his behavior and that is exactly how he will reinforce the positive behavior, and in the end geting the wanted results.
7. CHALLENGES vs. PROBLEMS. Happy people will see PROBLEMS as CHALLENGES, as opportunities to explore new ways of doing things, expressing their gratitude for them, understanding that underneath them all lies many opportunities that will allow them to expand and to grow.
8. SELFLESSNESS vs. SELFISHNESS. They do what they do not for themselves, but for the good of others, making sure that they bring meaning, empowerment and happiness in the lives of many. They look for ways to give and to share the best of themselves with the world and to make other people happy.
 ”Before giving, the mind of the giver is happy; while giving, the mind of the giver is made peaceful; and having given, the mind of the giver is uplifted.”Buddha
9. ABUNDANCE vs. LACK/POVERTY. They have an abundant mindset living a balanced life, achieving abundance in all areas of life.
10. DREAMING BIG vs. BEING REALISTIC. These people don’t really care about being realistic. They love and dare to dream big, they always listen to their heart and intuition and the greatness of their accomplishments scares many of us.
“Dream no small dreams for they have no power to move the hearts of men.” Goethe
11. KINDNESS vs. CRUELTY. They are kind to themselves and others and they understand the power of self love, self forgiveness and self acceptance.
12. GRATITUDE vs. INGRATITUDE. No no matter where they look, no matter where they are or with who, they have this capacity of seeing beauty where most of us would only see ugliness, opportunities, where most of us would only see struggles, abundance where most of us would only see lack and they express their gratitude for them all.
13. PRESENCE/ ENGAGEMENT vs. DISENGAGEMENT. They know how to live in the present moment, appreciating what they have and where they are, while still having big dreams about the future.
“When you are present, you can allow the mind to be as it is without getting entangled in it. The mind in itself is a wonderful tool. Dysfunction sets in when you seek your self in it and mistake it for who you are.” Eckhart Tolle
14. POSITIVITY vs. NEGATIVITY. No matter what happens to them, they always seem to keep a positive perspective on everything and by doing so, they tend irritate a lot of negative and “realistic” people.
15. TAKING RESPONSIBILITY vs. BLAMING. They take full ownership over their lives and they rarely use excuses. Happy people understand that the moment you choose to blame some outside forces for whatever it is that happens to you, you are in fact giving all your power away, and they choose to keep the power for themselves and taking responsibility for everything that happens to them.

http://www.purposefairy.com/4899/15-powerful-things-happy-people-do-differently/

Help

How many times has someone asked you "how are you doing?" and you replied " I am good!", when you really wanted to tell them the opposite? How many times have you walked into a room with the world on your shoulders, but smiled so big other people smiled because you walked in? How many times have you needed help, yet were the first one to volunteer when someone else needed it? How many times were you taken advantage of by someone, knew that was case, yet continued to be nice to that person? How many times have you been hated but continued to combat it with love? How many times have you been told you are worthless, yet continued to try to help others see their self worth? If you have done any of these things, I am sure you are exhausted. The pressure to keep a brave face and continue to give all of yourself to others, while there is no more to give, is a tremendous challenge; however, it is one of the most rewarding. When we go through our challenges, there is always someone else going through more difficulty. If we can step out of our misery and recognize it, we are more willing to walk beside someone, extending our hand to be held by them and to be leaned on. When we are selfless, we may see it in a different perspective and gain a better understanding of our situation. In many ways, when we save a life, we end up saving our own. So, no matter what adversity is present in your life, don't allow it to drag you into its cave. If you can bring a little bit of light into a person's life, it may be that little spark they need to brighten up their entire self. Before you know it, someone will have done it for you as well. My only advice to keep your self protected is to learn how to recognize when someone just wants a company for their misery and to know the difference between self sacrifice and selflessness. Understand that we can only help those, who want to help themselves and we can only be helped if we ourselves are already trying to do so.

Vladimir Kush' Candle

11 Things You Should Start Doing for Yourself Today

“Enjoy everything that happens in your life, but never make your happiness or success dependent on an attachment to any person, place or thing.” Wayne Dyer
You deserve to live a more balanced, harmonious and happier life, starting today and starting now. Today, not tomorrow, nor the day after tomorrow is where your life is, where your life starts. Take good care of yourself, “begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand and melting like a snowflake…” Francis Bacon
Focus more of your attention on yourself and pay close attention to all of these things for they are meant to help you create a more balance and happier life, because you deserve the best life has to offer. Are you ready? Let’s get started.

1. START BREATHING PROPERLY, SOFTLY AND DEEPLY

When was the last time you paid attention to your breathe? Whether you believe it or not, we forgot how to breathe, and what we call breathing is nothing more than shallow breathing. Take deep breaths throughout the day, pay attention to your breathing and know that by doing so, not only will you improve your health, but you will also train yourself into becoming more present and engaged in the present moment, more present and engaged in your own life and the life of others.
“Shallow breathing is the root of all evil but conscious deep breathing restores and secures our souls.” Desmond Green

2. LET GO OF YOUR PERSONAL HISTORY – ENJOY THE PRESENT MOMENT

Let go of your past. Have a clear image of where you want to go, know how you want your future to look like but live in the present moment, for the present moment is all you ever had, all that you have and all you’ll ever have. Know that every time you identify with your past, you deny yourself the right to grow and evolve, the right to advance in life.
“By referring to previous struggles and using them as reasons for not getting on with your life today, you’re assigning responsibility to the past for why you can’t be successful or happy in the present.” Dr. Wayne Dyer

3. LET GO OF ALL THOSE THINGS THAT NO LONGER SERVE YOU

Find the inner strength and courage to let go of all those things that no longer serve you, of all those things that no longer bring joy and happiness into your life. You and I know that “There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind. But keep in mind that letting go isn’t the end of the world, it’s the beginning of a new life.”

4. FORGIVE YOURSELF FOR PAST MISTAKES

It’s okay to make mistakes. If we don’t make mistakes we don’t move, we don’t grow, we are stagnating. Forgive yourself for past mistakes and know that forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself, forgiveness “is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.” Robert Muller

5. FORGIVE ALL THOSE PEOPLE WHO HAVE HURT YOU

Start forgiving those who have hurt you, because you see, “When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.” Catherine Ponder

6. RELEASE ALL JUDGMENTS YOU HAVE PLACED UPON YOURSELF AND OTHERS

Whenever you catch yourself being judgmental towards yourself and others, repeating these words to yourself will help a lot: “Judgments prevent us from seeing the good that lies beyond appearances.” Wayne Dyer. I use these words whenever I feel like my mind is getting ready to become judgmental, and I have to admit that they do help me be more open minded and tolerant both toward myself and others.

7. EXPECT THE BEST FROM LIFE

Expect the best and you will receive the best. Open your eyes and see the beauty that is present all around you, open your eyes and see yourself as the beautiful being you really are. Expect the best from yourself, from those around you and from life, because you see, “When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” Paulo Coelho

8. NURTURE The RELATIONSHIP you have with YOURSELF and OTHERS

Love yourself, accept who you are and work on pleasing yourself before pleasing others, nurture yourself first before nurturing others. It is very important to start with yourself and I will give you one example to understand why that is.
You know how when you are on the airplane the flight attendant is giving all the passengers the instructions as to what to do it an emergency and they tell you to put your oxygen mask on first? Well, the same goes here. You will not be able to help others if you don’t help and take care of yourself first. Nurture the relationship you have with yourself so that you can be able to nurture your relationships with others.

9. START TREATING YOURSELF AS YOU WOULD WANT OTHERS TO TREAT YOU

Because if you yourself are not being kind and loving towards your own person, you can’t expect others to do som right?. You can’t expect others to do something for you that you yourself are not capable of doing. Start treating yourself in the exact way you would like others to treat you.
“Let the world know you as you are, not as you think you should be, because sooner or later, if you are posing, you will forget the pose, and then where are you?” Fanny Brice

10. START TO NURTURE YOUR MIND, BODY, HEART AND SPIRIT

Work on nurturing your mind, your body, your heart and your soul, because “If you nurture your mind, body, and spirit, your time will expand. You will gain a new perspective that will allow you to accomplish much more.” Brian Koslow

11. DEVELOP AN ATITUDE OF GRATITUDE

Start developing “an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation.” Brian Tracy
Know that who you are right now, where you are and what you have is more than enough and appreciate it all.


http://www.purposefairy.com/5274/11-things-you-should-start-doing-for-yourself-today/

Mental Noise

We go about life with so much mental noise. Small things trigger thoughts, which trigger emotions, which trigger behavior, which trigger decisions, which trigger life events. All that mental noise can have serious consequences and sometimes lead us down a less than desirable path. Some of us may be able to look back and pick out that one mental noise which sent us on a whirlwind of a ride, but we never remember why we allowed it to be our driver in the first place. The interesting truth is, we as people should know ourselves better than anyone, we know our own likes and dislikes, we should know what makes us happy, afraid or what is good for us; yet we go about life relying on external triggers, people's opinions of ourselves, other people's success as our example and our good old friend fear to push us in whatever direction it wishes to. I have long heard allowing yourself to be silent in the mind, will manifest everything you truly want. As difficult as it may be, it is important we shut off the mental noise and just hear nothing so our mind can rest and refresh, flushing out all the negative and learning how to recognize our own ability to feel our god given instincts so WE become the driver of our lives.

10LE's "My path"

FEAR

By definition, FEAR is "a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid." For me, fear is the drunk friend who I need to send to rehab so it can come back and experience life sober. I have allowed for this friend to hang around for a long time. Giving it shot after shot of tequila and keeping it obliterated so life never looks completely possible. I stumble with it and instead of allowing it to pass out and sleep, I carry it around with me to my next chapter and feed it some more. There are also people that come around who help me keep my friend wasted and who actually enjoy seeing my friend and I attached and codependent. They introduce me to their drunk friends who apparently they carry around as well. The distraction of the lush never allows for me to attend to what I truly want in life. It keeps me in its fog and drains the life out of me. It convinces me that if I just let it sleep to sober up, I will not be able to survive without it. It has persuaded me that life for me is only supposed to be a struggle and the only way to get through it, is to carry the drunk around with me so I feel protected and prepared. However, I also have another friend named FAITH. FAITH is pure and honest. It makes sure I stop to smell the roses and joins me on long walks to make sure I am taking in what life has to offer. It listens to every single word I say and tells me everything I wish for, I will achieve. It opens my heart so I may pour it all out while filling it right back up again with the most sobering love. It has been knocking on my door for a while, but FEAR has made me keep FAITH outside, never allowing it to come in but waiting patiently. Until now!! I put fear on a plane to the best rehab one can go to. It's probably doing deep meditative yoga right now and kicking itself in the ass for not sobering up sooner. As for FAITH and I, well, we are moving along very nicely and wish FEAR all the best.

AD's "North Shore, HI Sunrise"

Thank You

Life has thrown a few curve balls, taken me way up high and has sent me free falling. It has never explained it's puzzling outcomes fully and has often left me asking more questions. It has given me the wonderful gift of a son and has taken away people who have taught me to show my teeth when I smile, to marry my career before any man and that it will not be your accomplishments that you will boast about on your death bed, but your family. It has shown me beauty comes from the inside out and it is always best to be kind. It has shown me that what I resist, persists; no matter how long I put it off, it will come back to remind me to liberate myself from it again until I do. It has allowed for me to peak into my future and has opened my eyes to the things that I have always wanted. It has given me obstacles to overcome so I may look back and know I am a better person today than yesterday and will be a better person tomorrow than I am today. Through all of the missed curve balls, highs, lows and vertigo I will say THANK YOU to life. Thank you for giving me everything I have asked for, in whichever way it came wrapped.

10LE's "Where the Journey may go...." 

Relationships 101-11 lessons learned

1. Never try to save someone from themselves, in the end, the one who will need saving is you.
2. Understand everyone loves differently. Some love with cooking you dinner and some love with leaving you a note to remind you how wonderful you are.
3. If someone is only impressed by your material wealth, expect a hollow heart.
4. Always listen when you hear and think before you speak.
5. Be the person you want the other to be.
6. Give to give and receive with appreciation and without expectation
7. Always argue fair and never point a finger in blame. Remember when you are pointing your finger at someone, three of them are pointing right back at you.
8. Never be ashamed to SHOW love. Even if it means you may get rejected. Love is better expressed than repressed.
9. When a relationship ends, no matter the circumstances, let go of it along with any anger or resentment. Wish the person well and hope they find a better love than what you gave. Energy is reciprocated, what you put out you get back.
10. A broken heart will heal. The next person to hold it is not responsible for what happened to it before.
11. Choose someone who will make you a better person. 

Salvador Dali's Love's Promises

Assholes and egos...they are everywhere!

" I can only be verbally hurt, if I give the person trying to hurt me, the permission to do so."- Gandhi

I have had some interesting relationships in my 30 years of life. I have come to realize these days, the disappointment of the way a person makes me feel should not be towards them, but towards myself for giving them the permission to make me feel a certain way. We give our power away to people and then expect them to take care of it when the power should stay with us and we should guard it and use it in positive ways. Although I like to assume the best of people, I have noticed the nature of people are based on their ego and their ego will always speak and take action before their spirit does. Ego is selfish and insecure, which drives negative action towards others. You can never expect to win a fight by allowing your ego to speak for you. So don't allow it to do so, speak from your spirit, where there is understanding and love. Even though your ego may say you have to be right, it is always better to be kind. A kinder world, is a better world.

Always remember this.....Assholes=ego! They are everywhere!!

Sheep....notice.

Notice how during commercial breaks from the news, there are advertisements for anti depressant medication. They feed you the negative and then tell you how to make yourself feel better. Notice how when we see the gas prices drop from $3.89 to $3.25, we celebrate. Those $0.64 can't even buy you a pack of gum. Notice how everything is a war; War on drugs, War on terrorism, War on poverty etc. War by definition is the following: a conflict carried on by force of arms, as between nations or between parties within a nation; warfare, as by land, sea, or air or a state or period of armed hostility or active military operations,conflict; We are taught to live with conflict. Notice how every medication has a side effect, which needs to be suppressed with another medication which has its own side effects and that one also needs another medication to have THAT side effect suppressed. Next thing you know, you are taking 5 different pills for back pain. You can also bet on getting addicted to the one that makes your pain all better for a little while. So while you are looking for your 5th doctor to get a pain pill prescription from, they will probably get a kickback from the pharmaceutical companies for prescribing it and you have just contributed to the multi-billion dollar industry which is the Pharmaceutical empire. Notice how after your child watches something on Nick Jr. or the Disney Channel, they have their next birthday and Christmas list put together, and also have a few things to add to your grocery list. Notice how congressmen/women quietly invest in companies related to Oil, Banking,Insurance and Weapons but scream when bills are suggested to benefit education, health care and the middle class. They only scream loud if you are in their pockets. Notice how the obesity, cancer, heart disease and diabetes rate in the U.S. is the highest in the industrial world but fast foods, processed foods, foods which have been modified with whatever the FDA says is ok (hormones) are significantly cheaper than the organic healthier alternative. Notice also Obesity leads to high cholesterol, heart disease, high blood pressure which all require medicine which further contributes to that empire we talked about earlier. Correlation? Maybe. Finally, notice, we are all sheep and the big bad wolves are having a field day. They are not hungry anymore and now just do what they do because they can. Baaa baaa baaaaaaa......So Sheep....NOTICE!

Question intent and then question some more!

The Death Approach

I have always believed that it is not death that we get sad about, but the suffering that leads ones life to it. After all, death is part of life and is the one thing we will all experience. However, I have had family members and friends who have passed on and I have struggled with understanding why there is so much sadness attached to a person dying. Even for the religious people, who believe after we die we have eternal life (depending on which religion). So why be sad about someone passing on to have eternal life....should that not be a celebration? When in human existence did we decide something so certain like death is so devastating it can send a person to a mental institution when someone they are attached to passes on?Actually, I would like to admit I believe a child dying is devastating. Maybe because we all are entitled to live our lives until we get old and gray? Or maybe because we have lived with the assumption that the correct chronology for death is parents first then children?

10LE's "The sun, myself and Jack Johnson"

I don't believe there is a correct approach on how to feel about death. I believe we are emotional beings who create attachments to people, where we often get comfortable and used to having them close enough to hug. We get used to seeing someone every day and often there is a comfort in knowing someone is a phone call away. When that comfort is interrupted, the interruption creates a void; We do not know how to fill a void which was filled with an attachment to someone who is not comparable to anyone else. Maybe the fear of the unknown; The not knowing for certain if there is a heaven or hell, or where the spirit goes once it leaves its shell, can leaves us shaken and sad. Maybe sadness comes from the realization that nothing lasts forever and that all things are temporary, good or bad. However, if we can step out of the sadness of death, we may be able to find a place of peace and gratefulness. We can be grateful for the opportunity to have created attachments to someone who is not comparable to anyone else, we can be grateful to have had the opportunity to feel love for someone, we can be grateful to have had the opportunity to experience life and to have been invited to take part in someones journey. We can be grateful and find peace that in the end, all of our outcomes are the same; We all die and if we would like to believe, we all meet again.

We suffer because we think.....

Our mind is powerful beyond our own comprehension; and so it makes us suffer. It creates our realities and allows for us to expand our horizons or keep ourselves imprisoned in our thought processes. It provides for interesting conversations with ourselves of momentary clarity or aching confusion. Even when we sleep, the mind travels through our subconscious, rummaging through our deepest thoughts and compiling dreams that may wake us up in drenched sweat. It never stays quiet. It can argue with itself or stroke its own ego all in the same conversation. It can make itself up but then change itself 2 seconds later....and once the decision is followed through, it can harbor regret and guilt in its deepest corners creating agitating doubt. It makes it all a terrible tragedy, when the reality of it all is no such thing. It creates fear and plays with it by introducing ideas which feeds its growth. So what to do? Don't stop to think....just stop to think.

10LE's "Behind the Clouds"

                                        

The Romanticism game

"Satire is people as they are; romanticism, people as they would like to be; realism, people as they seem with their insides left out."~Dawn Powell

So there,...romanticism is people as they would like to be....I would also like to add romanticism is also people as others would like them to be, events as people would like them to be, something that someone would like it to be. In the end, the people, event and something never are what it is wished to be. So why do we romanticize all of them as such? Maybe we should blame our creativity? Our endless imagination which can make up whatever it wants, usually triggered by what the heart wants to feel. Maybe we should blame music and movies, which always seem be written just for us including the fitting outcomes with either happy or heartbreaking endings.

We even romanticize our past. As I always say, hindsight is 20/20 with a slight case of amnesia. Then again, I also believe we romanticize our past based on how we feel about our present. Lack of contentment can send a person lurking in the past and romanticizing the loneliest days as one of their best, romanticizing a love that evaporated to the love that got away, romanticizing sleepless exhausting nights with a crying baby as sleepless nights of bonding with the new love of their life. 

It is a cruel game, the game of romanticism. Even more cruel is if you give in to it and assume romanticism as satire (or as people, events, things as they are), only to realize that romanticism took advantage of your naivety and pulled you in and spit you out with the disappointments of failed expectations. To avoid this, play the game as I do.....let it help you create. Create art....however you want to define it. After all, if we should blame our creativity, we are aware of its capabilities and should take advantage of its romanticism. As much as you try to escape it, it is part of the game of life. Either play it or create it.

 

Salvador Dali's ~the meditative rose....

Hello Past, it is me...goodbye!

Hello past, it is me. I have been thinking about you a lot these past few years. With every year that goes by, the year gone is added to my mental thoughts and consumes my present moments often suffocating me with a range of overwhelming feelings I have attached to you. I have to say you have driven my life and I have allowed for you to dictate many decisions I have made in present moments. Often not understanding that it has been you that has been my influence and contributor to my mental agitation. I have come to realize it is time for you and I to accept each other. It is time we shake hands and for me to leave you there....in the past. I accept you as you are because you were a part of my journey. I am grateful to you for making me the person I am but I no longer need you to haunt my my mind; to feel as if I could go back and fix all that I did wrong or relive all that I did right. You will forever be a part of me, but one that I should not carry on my back, but in my heart. In order to do so, I will leave all the guilt, the sadness and the anger with you. If I do think of you, I will be able to see you only as a reminder to continue to appreciate the present and to kindly dismiss you with only love. I will give you credit for every lesson I have learned and have applied and continue to apply to my journey. It is time to continue my chapters, so I will flip the page to the next ones with contentment. Hello past, it is me....goodbye.

10LE's "journey and the horizon"

Jesus Part II

...my opinion stands....Jesus was an enlightened man who should be admired for his teachings. The idea that he died for our sins so we will have eternal life is not enough of a statement for me to believe that statement as is. With that said, I would like to suggest "he died for our sins" is a metaphor. A metaphor that symbolizes he came here to teach us all how to approach ourselves, others and God to deliver us from the negativity we ourselves create like fear, hate and judgement. During my research, I have also found the story of Jesus' life  is not only original to the bible, but also to the Hindu religion with the birth and life of Krishna, in the Buddhist religion with the story of Buddha, the story of Odysseus, the story of Romulus,the story of Dionysus, the story of Horus and a few more. This is not to try to take away anything from Christians, but to simply become a well rounded informed being. As I have mentioned many times before, I am not one to put a limit on what God is and I feel if we all limit our thoughts and do not expand our knowledge, we will do ourselves an injustice and reject all that God wants for us to learn. Although I do not have anymore questions about Jesus, I will continue on my journey to learn more about his teachings, as I have continued to learn about Gandhi's teachings and Buddha's teaching. I have found they are all very very similar. In fact, Gandhi himself believed the similar suggestion I have made about Jesus: "What, then, does Jesus mean to me? To me, he was one of the greatest teachers humanity has ever had. To his believers, he was God’s only begotten Son.* Could the fact that I do or do not accept this belief make Jesus have any more or less influence in my life? Is all the grandeur of his teaching and of his doctrine to be forbidden to me? I cannot believe so....http://www.sacred-living.org/gandhi-what-jesus-means-to-me" my feelings exactly as Gandhi best put it.

10LE's God paints pretty pictures

The Bullshit Artist

Do you know one of those? You know, that one person who always tells you what you want to hear while knowing very well they have no plans of following through with what they are saying, are lying to you or just want to get a reaction out of you for entertainment purposes? You know, kind of like those politicians we see on TV or read about and all of their (empty) promises to the people. You know, kind of like that guy you adore who is just using you for sex. You know, kind of like that girl you adore who is just using you for your money? You know, kind of like that employee you have who always finds the best excuse for not meeting a deadline?

I have to admit I admire their artistry. Bullshit artists are master manipulators. They can lie without one ounce of remorse. They usually victimize themselves and blame shift every negative aspect of their lives to people who are blinded by their manipulation. They know which people to prey on and latch on to like leeches until all the blood is sucked out of their veins and the leech is big and fat but stays hungry and jumps on to the next weak soul. They are great poets and master archers who know which words to use to beat a person down and where to throw their arrows to finish them off. They don't know love for others, they only know love for themselves where their love for someone is only defined by how much that person loves them. Never genuine and always calculating....the Bullshit artist.

Change

They say the only guarantee in life is Change. Often times, we may not be ready for it and we are thrust into the whirlwind of life and given no tools (or what it seems to be no tools) to adjust to the change life has decided to present to us. Other times, we create the change for ourselves in hopes to better our situation. Either way, it is never easy. It will send you up, down, make you feel inside out or completely introverted to figure out how, why, how long and what to do next. Fortunately for me (or unfortunately according to some people), I grew up in an environment where things were always changing and I had to learn to adapt fast. Different countries, different cultures, different languages, different male (dad) figures, etc. I learned very early that nothing stays the same and it is always best to not get too attached since things are guaranteed to change. I firmly believe change builds character, it helps the soul grow, it provides for an interesting journey and often times teaches us lessons about ourselves that a stagnant life would not be able to. So why be afraid of change if nothing stays the same anyways?

Breaking up with Facebook is easy to do....

I disabled my facebook account for the second time on February 2, 2012. I had done it once before during the summer of 2011 for a couple of months. Facebook and I have been an item since late 2006. Back then, it was a "college" kids social network. I had a college email account, so I got a facebook. Fast Forward to 2012, the network has become a platform for "hey everyone, look at me! Look at how cool, beautiful, blessed, religious, politically educated, rich, deep, funny, talented, sad, depressed, ignorant, self absorbed...(and so many more things) I am!" It has sucked you in to participate in this superficial world where everyone only shows the best side of themselves and even then, that best side is usually not real at all. It has created the "facebook envy"a phenomena which suggests facebook users feel depressed after browsing through facebook and looking at their "friends'" pages. It has been the platform of gossip, where a new relationship, a break-up,a marriage, a divorce, a coming out or a simple "it's complicated" gets 20 likes in one hour or that "dislike" comment since there is no dislike button. It has been littered with thousands of "duck face" pictures where women (and some men) take self portraits of themselves blowing a kiss at the camera....those are my fave! NOT!

With all that said, it was very easy for me to break up with facebook. It has been a liberating experience this time around. The first time around, it was more so to get me focused on some things that needed my attention. It really worked! A lot of things happened during those 2 months of my facebook separation that allowed for me to center myself again. This time around, I broke up with facebook to center myself again and keep myself centered without the noise of the world and the distractions of the duck faces or who is on what vacation. Post break-up, I have come to realize, facebook and I have run our course and I am moving on to better things ( and no, it is not twitter). Although I am forever grateful to it for reconnecting me with my family overseas, they now have my email and can write or send pics that way....and if I need a good laugh, instead of browsing duck face pics, I just go to youtube and look up random funny videos. Today, I wish facebook and its 500 million + users well. Sending it a "duck face"!