Whose life are you living?

Once in a while, I have several days of heavy self reflection. I tend to retreat from the world and analyze every thought that flows through my mind. I take the time to be honest with myself and confess to the person I truly am what I want out of my life. With the many changes I have had the pleasure of experiencing this past year, I have learned a lot about myself and have become less tolerant of the thoughts, things and people who I feel no longer serve the betterment of me. I have also come to realize I continuously seek everybody else's approval before confirming my own. Do they really have the answers I need for my life? Not exactly. After all, whose life am I living? Mine or theirs? I value advice and often ask my closest confidants for them; however, the journey I am on is mine and mine alone.I am fully aware that every decision I make is guaranteed to affect at least one person in my life, and with that awareness, I am learning to trust myself and make every decision out of love and not anger or fear. I can honestly say the decisions I have made out of love since January 1st, 2012 have made me feel more in-tune with what I desire out of life. It has provided me with a clear picture of what I want my reflective end to look like and it has validated the trust I have in myself. It has quieted the negative audience members and it has welcomed in the ones who can see and appreciate my growth. There are still many things I am working on to ensure I am living MY life and not a life that is approved by everyone else. Reflecting back, that first step was the most difficult and I would be lying if I said I have not had some challenging stretches, but that first step was worth it and with every challenge I have picked up a lesson from it, added to my lessons learned and will continue to apply to the life that I am living...which is mine.

Painting by Jose Roosevelt

Baggage

"Our baggage is only as heavy as we pack it. So pack light, for you will not be able to enjoy the journey if what you carry is weighing you down..." ~10LE


During our journey, we collect many things. We pack it all into our suitcases and carry it around with us. If one were to open our baggage, one would find our memories, our pains, our joys, our resentments, our loves, our hates, our secrets, our fears, our worries and our dreams. The heaviest items are the ones that are folded and packed with sadness, fears, anger, worry and resentment. The lightest items are the ones that are folded and packed with love, joys, compassion and our dreams. It seems to me most people pack the heavier things and only make small room for the lighter items. We then wonder why life is so difficult. Why we always feel weighed down. Why we have problems that never seem to go away. Why we have animosity with people. Why love never finds us. Why we sabotage ourselves. Open your suitcase and check your inventory. What are you carrying around? If it is the heavier things, unpack; Donate it to forgiveness, letting go and God. The souvenirs you take from your journey should be the ones you can admire with understanding, acceptance and learning. Fill your suitcase with the lighter things and allow it to carry YOU.

Painting by Jose Roosevelt

I am what I am

I am what I am. Proud of what I am. Regret only when I was not what I am. Am telling you now, your approval and opinion of the person that I am is none of my concern. Your religions, traditions, listeners and characters are of no validity to the delusional stories you tell of me. With this, every opinion and judgement of me, I give back to you in the finest wrapping topped with a BIG RED BOW. May life treat you kinder than you treat IT.  ~10LE

Sometimes, words are just not needed.

9 Reasons Why You Should No Longer Care About People’s Approval

A truly strong person does not need the approval of others any more than a lion needs the approval of sheep.” Vernon Howard
Approval Seeking Behavior… If you ask me, this is where many of our challenges start. When you are too concerned with what other people think of you, you start sabotaging your life, and you start moving forward but with the breaks on.
“Care about people’s approval and you will be their prisoner”  Lao Tzu
If you want to live life the way WE want to and not the way others would want us to, we need to let go of our constant need to control what other people think of us, we need to learn to let go of our approval seeking behavior. I know that this is not always an easy task to do and that is exactly why I decided to write about the 9 reasons why you should no longer care about what others think or say of you, to point out some of the things we all know but we just need to be reminded of from time to time.

1. You Simply Can’t Be Liked by Everybody

No matter how much you try and no matter how “nice” you are with people, you simply can’t have everybody like you for there will always be people who will continue talking about you and your “inappropriate” way of thinking, behaving, breathing, dressing, living, etc.
“You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.” Winston Churchill

2. You Can Live a Happy Life Without “Their” Approval

You are not less or more of a person based on how many people like and approve of you. While growing up we were told that in order to be liked by others we must be nice to people and we are, but somehow we keep encountering people that don’t seem to like us. So why is that? Is there something wrong with us? Not really. Just because some people don’t like us, does not imply that there is something wrong with us, for that is not true. You are already, whole and complete and you don’t need other people’s approval in order to feel this way. How freeing is that?
“Self-worth comes from one thing – thinking that you are worthy.” Wayne Dyer

3. You Can’t Control What Other People Think of You

 I came to the realization that we all live in different worlds, a different reality for each and every one of us, reality that was built based on our thoughts, beliefs, experiences, based on what we were taught while growing up. What I might see as being right, other people might see as being wrong, and what I might see as being beautiful other people might see as being ugly.
We all have a different perception on how life should be lived and how people should act, and instead of wasting your time thinking about what other people think and say of you, why not spend that time improving and growing yourself, knowing that: “Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocre minds. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously uses his intelligence.” Einstein

4. Approval Seeking Behavior is Time Consuming

It take a lot of your time, time that can be used to do the things that you really enjoy doing.

5. Approval Seeking Behavior Drains Your Energy.

Every time you spend time thinking and talking about what X or Y said about you, not only are you wasting your time, but you are also wasting your precious energy.

6. Freedom to Be Who You Want to Be

When you no longer care about what other people think of you, you start being yourself and you start behaving the way you always wanted but you couldn’t because of all the restrictions and limits you imposed on yourself. You have no idea how much freedom comes with letting go of your need to control what other people think of you. Just give it a chance and you will understand what I am talking about.

7. Inner Peace

We all seek peace and we all want to be happy and the moment you stop caring about what “they” think, you will find just that.
“When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others.” Peace Pilgrim

8. You Are The One In Control of Your Life, Not Them!

Mind your own business and live your life, the way you want to, the way it best suits you, and let go of your approval seeking behavior.
“The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you’ll be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.” Arthur Gordon

9. The ONLY Person You Must Get Approval From Is YOU!

If you like and approve of yourself, believe me, it will no longer matter if people say nice things about you or not, for you will understand: “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” Carl Jung
You get to a point where you know, them talking about you has little or nothing to do with how you think, act, live, etc., but a lot to do with how they think, and who they perceive reality. A lot of times, what we can’t accept in others are the things we haven’t accepted in ourselves, whether we are consciously aware of this truth or not.
“When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself as someone who needs to judge.” Wayne Dyer

http://www.purposefairy.com/5212/9-reasons-why-you-should-no-longer-care-about-peoples-approval/

When what you have always desired is at your feet....

...pick it up, carry it by your heart and know you are deserving. If you have ever asked for something or envisioned it, it will present itself to you; sometimes in unexpected ways. It knows timing better than anything and will not acknowledge fear, doubt or ill wishes from outside influences. It will not attempt to explain itself or have the need to convince anyone of anything. It will dance with intuition and instinct and will have coffee with faith. It will never sympathize with misery and will always empathize with will. It knows you better than you know yourself because in the end, you are your thoughts and the desires you project to the world.

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony" ~Gandhi.

Painting by Jose Roosevelt

"Why Have Good When You Can Have Better?"

"As I look back on my life, I realize that every time I thought I was being rejected from something good, I was actually being re-directed to something better.” Steve Maraboli
A lot of times we get so caught up in our so called problems, in sweating the small stuff, chasing after one thing or another, chasing after all kinds of things we want but don’t really need, holding on to people that shouldn’t really be in our life anymore, that we simply can’t realize that by letting go of all of them, we could actually be on our way towards achieving far greater things.
So what if we learn to say “NO” to the good, so we can embrace and say “YES” to the best that is waiting for us out there? Whenever you’ re not feeling at peace, whenever you’re not feeling joyful and content, that is the moment for you to pause and analyze your current life, because all of those things are a sign that you are holding on to things, people, ideas, thoughts,  that are no longer good for you, and you might want to consider letting go of them.
Whenever you are resisting what is, whenever you are trying to force events to happen in a certain way, you are in fact working against the flow of life, and instead of going with it you are going against it, and this will be a battle you’ll never win.
Think about it, is it really worth it? Are you that afraid of the unknown that you are willing to continue to struggle and perhaps live a life that isn’t satisfying to you or to others? Are you so afraid of taking risks, are you so afraid of change that you are willing to give up on your right to really be happy, on your right to enjoy the many incredible things that you could do, the many incredible things that are waiting for you out there?
“If you cannot risk, you cannot grow. If you cannot grow, you cannot become your best. If you cannot become your best, you cannot be happy. And if you cannot be happy, what else matters?” David Viscott
Why choose to be your own worst enemy? Are you afraid that they might judge you, are you afraid that you will end up all alone? It’s true that it’s not so crowded along the extra mile, but it is also true that those people who are brave enough to go the extra mile are also the people who you and I look up to, right? Those are the people who inspire us, who make us dream big dreams and hope for a better life. Those are the people who know how to only focus on those things that they do want and ignore those things that they don’t need. Those are the people who expect the best from life and as a result, they receive the best from life, for what you focus on expands and the more you focus on the good, the more that good will multiply.
“Are your thoughts worthy of you? If not – NOW is the time to change them. You can begin right were you are right now. Nothing matters but this moment and what you are focusing your attention on.” Rhonda Byrne
So what do you say? Do you think you can let go of whatever is it that you are holding on to and say yes to change? Do you think you have what it takes to embrace the unknown and embark on a new journey of self discovery? What do you have to lose? Your sorrows, you unhappiness?
“Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go.” Herman Hesse

http://www.purposefairy.com/6115/why-have-good-when-you-can-have-better/

Mottos

My Mottos:

"What people do to me is their karma, what I do to people is mine"

"It is always better to be kind than to be right"

"Opinions are like buttholes, everyone has one and will always have one"

However, certain events have tested the nature of my character to its very core. I am thankful because I have learned a lot about myself in these last 6 months. To explain what has challenged my mottos:

"What people do to me is their karma, what I do to people is mine"

I have a difficult time understanding the malice the human ego tries to commit and the lie it tells itself when it does. Ego: "If I am hurtful to someone, I win." The truth: If you are hurtful to someone, you are hurting yourself. You are projecting negativity which will reciprocate and return to you. Another lie the Ego tells: "I have nothing to learn because I know all" The truth: No lessons learned means no growth. We all grow spiritually, emotionally and socially if we open ourselves up to learning from whatever experience we are facing. Growth will allow problems to only become challenges and is the foundation for improvements, achievements and success.

"It is always better to be kind than to be right"

This can tie into the karma motto, however, it is difficult to remember this motto when you are being verbally attacked or your character is being slandered. When we experience someones misery and are the target of  verbal attacks, it is almost natural to become defensive and let the ego speak for us. However, becoming defensive takes away all rational thinking which take away our power to realize being right is often times less important than being kind. A defensive person is a weak person who does not think highly of themselves and believes they have to fight to prove to everyone something they themselves do not really believe. If we believe we are good people, there would not be any need to prove it to anyone. If you know you are kind, always be it. Even if a person's misery tries to drag you into being its company and serves you from the defensive menu

"Opinions are like buttholes, everyone has one and will always have one"

I firmly believe people see me only based on how they see themselves first. To some I am an angel, to some I am the devil, to some I am stupid, to some I am smart, to some I am a winner and to some I am a loser.  We are all experiencing life in our own ways and our unique experiences drive us to make the appropriate decisions we feel we should make. However, every decision we make will attract opinions from people. Some invited, and some not. Some positive and some not. We are all guilty of having an opinion on someones decision and judging the way they choose to experience their life. What we have to remember is that opinions are like buttholes, everyone will have one. In the end, nobody is living your life but you. If you continue to remember that what you do to people is your karma, it is best to be kind than to be right and that people will talk regardless, you will save yourself a lot of unnecessary mental noise.

So here is to life's mottos!

10LE's "Across the Universe"

15 Powerful Things Happy People Do Differently

1. LOVE vs. FEAR. Well, I can tell you for sure that those people who are really happy, FEAR less and LOVE a lot more. They see each moment, each challenge, each person as an opportunity to discover more about themselves and the world around them.
2. ACCEPTANCE vs. RESISTANCE.  Happy people understand that you can’t really change a situation by resisting it, but you can definitely change it by accepting that it is there and by understanding that there might be a reason for its existence. When something unpleasant happens to them, they don’t try to fight it, knowing that this will make the situation even worse, but rather, they ask themselves questions like: What can I learn from this? How can I make this better? and they go from there, focusing on the positive rather than on the negative. They always seem to see the glass half full no matter what happens to them.
3. FORGIVENESS vs. NOT FORGIVING. Really happy people know that it’s not healthy to hold on to anger. They choose to FORGIVE and FORGET, understanding that FORGIVENESS is  a gift they give to themselves first and foremost.
“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”Buddha
4. TRUST vs. DOUBT. They trust themselves and they trust the people around them. No matter if they talk to the cleaning lady or the C.E.O. of a multi billion company, somehow they always seem make the person they are interacting with feel like there is something unique and special about them.
They understand that beliefs become self-fulfilling prophecies, and because of that, they make sure to treat everybody with love, dignity and respect, making no distinctions between age, sex, social status, color, religion or race. These are the great men that Mark Twain was talking about: “Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.” Mark Twain
5. MEANING vs. AMBITION.  They do the things they do because of the meaning it brings into their lives and because they get a sense of purpose by doing so. They understand that “Doing what you love is the cornerstone of having abundance in your life” like Wayne Dyer puts it, and they care more about living a life full of meaning rather than, what in our modern society we would call, living a successful life.
The irony here is that most of the time they get both, success and meaning, just because they choose to focus on doing the things they love the most and they always pursue their heart desires. They are not motivated by money; they want to make a difference in the lives of those around them and in the world.
6. PRAISING vs. CRITICIZING. Happy people would probably agree with Carl’s Jung theory on resistance: “What you resist not only persists, but will grow in size”. They don’t criticize the absence of the behavior they want to reinforce, but rather, every time the behavior is present, even if it’s not that often, they know that by praising the person and the behavior, they will actually reinforce the positive behavior.
When a parent wants to make sure that his 7 years old boy will learn to always put the toys back in the box after he’s done playing with them, he will make sure not to focus on the many times the child won’t do it, criticizing him and his behavior, but rather, every time the little boy does put the toys back, the parent will praise him and his behavior and that is exactly how he will reinforce the positive behavior, and in the end geting the wanted results.
7. CHALLENGES vs. PROBLEMS. Happy people will see PROBLEMS as CHALLENGES, as opportunities to explore new ways of doing things, expressing their gratitude for them, understanding that underneath them all lies many opportunities that will allow them to expand and to grow.
8. SELFLESSNESS vs. SELFISHNESS. They do what they do not for themselves, but for the good of others, making sure that they bring meaning, empowerment and happiness in the lives of many. They look for ways to give and to share the best of themselves with the world and to make other people happy.
 ”Before giving, the mind of the giver is happy; while giving, the mind of the giver is made peaceful; and having given, the mind of the giver is uplifted.”Buddha
9. ABUNDANCE vs. LACK/POVERTY. They have an abundant mindset living a balanced life, achieving abundance in all areas of life.
10. DREAMING BIG vs. BEING REALISTIC. These people don’t really care about being realistic. They love and dare to dream big, they always listen to their heart and intuition and the greatness of their accomplishments scares many of us.
“Dream no small dreams for they have no power to move the hearts of men.” Goethe
11. KINDNESS vs. CRUELTY. They are kind to themselves and others and they understand the power of self love, self forgiveness and self acceptance.
12. GRATITUDE vs. INGRATITUDE. No no matter where they look, no matter where they are or with who, they have this capacity of seeing beauty where most of us would only see ugliness, opportunities, where most of us would only see struggles, abundance where most of us would only see lack and they express their gratitude for them all.
13. PRESENCE/ ENGAGEMENT vs. DISENGAGEMENT. They know how to live in the present moment, appreciating what they have and where they are, while still having big dreams about the future.
“When you are present, you can allow the mind to be as it is without getting entangled in it. The mind in itself is a wonderful tool. Dysfunction sets in when you seek your self in it and mistake it for who you are.” Eckhart Tolle
14. POSITIVITY vs. NEGATIVITY. No matter what happens to them, they always seem to keep a positive perspective on everything and by doing so, they tend irritate a lot of negative and “realistic” people.
15. TAKING RESPONSIBILITY vs. BLAMING. They take full ownership over their lives and they rarely use excuses. Happy people understand that the moment you choose to blame some outside forces for whatever it is that happens to you, you are in fact giving all your power away, and they choose to keep the power for themselves and taking responsibility for everything that happens to them.

http://www.purposefairy.com/4899/15-powerful-things-happy-people-do-differently/