Whose life are you living?

Once in a while, I have several days of heavy self reflection. I tend to retreat from the world and analyze every thought that flows through my mind. I take the time to be honest with myself and confess to the person I truly am what I want out of my life. With the many changes I have had the pleasure of experiencing this past year, I have learned a lot about myself and have become less tolerant of the thoughts, things and people who I feel no longer serve the betterment of me. I have also come to realize I continuously seek everybody else's approval before confirming my own. Do they really have the answers I need for my life? Not exactly. After all, whose life am I living? Mine or theirs? I value advice and often ask my closest confidants for them; however, the journey I am on is mine and mine alone.I am fully aware that every decision I make is guaranteed to affect at least one person in my life, and with that awareness, I am learning to trust myself and make every decision out of love and not anger or fear. I can honestly say the decisions I have made out of love since January 1st, 2012 have made me feel more in-tune with what I desire out of life. It has provided me with a clear picture of what I want my reflective end to look like and it has validated the trust I have in myself. It has quieted the negative audience members and it has welcomed in the ones who can see and appreciate my growth. There are still many things I am working on to ensure I am living MY life and not a life that is approved by everyone else. Reflecting back, that first step was the most difficult and I would be lying if I said I have not had some challenging stretches, but that first step was worth it and with every challenge I have picked up a lesson from it, added to my lessons learned and will continue to apply to the life that I am living...which is mine.

Painting by Jose Roosevelt