Thursday, January 26, 2012

Alpha Wives

The local radio station had a segment blaming wives who make more money than their husbands being the culprit of some failed marriages. They gave the example of some Hollywood couples, but I really cannot use that as an argument since 90% of the world does not live in Hollywood Lala land.
I listened to the segment carefully because I wanted to make sure I understood the reasoning here. Some marriages fail because once wives make more money than their husbands, the husband feels emasculated and it ruins the marriage. HUH?! So is this not the husband being the culprit of a failed marriage? His insecurity which drives the marriage towards doom? Then I thought about it some more and came to realize that it could be the following: 1. Alpha wives work outside of the home all day long, come home and have to continue their work there. Cook dinner, take care of the kids, clean the house and satisfy their husband's sexual appetite. 2. Alpha wives are able to take care of themselves financially and no longer need someone to take care of them in that sense. Their expectations are as follows: a best friend to share the responsibilities of home with. 3. Alpha wives obviously work hard to have a successful career and to provide for her family, her expectations of her partner usually reflect the same. If she comes home to a less than motivated husband, this can be a huge turn off. As stated in #2, Alpha wives want a best friend and NOT another child to have to motivate and check after. 4. Since the lack of motivation is probably a turn off for Alpha wives, whining would be too. Whining about how much she works and maybe about the things that the husbands have to help with. Since it is expected for the alpha wife to do all the work in the home as well as outside the home, why would she want to deal with whining as well. She may as well do it all alone without all the waa waa waaing. 5.Finally, this may not be as common, the expectation that the Alpha wife should make MORE money and be MORE successful. Encouragement and appreciation can go a long way, but making an alpha wife feel like she is still not doing enough will probably drive her to whole another direction....probably away from the husband.
So I conclude, the culprit is the changing times and the lack of determination by both parties to change with it. Times have changed, don't force values from 60 years ago on today and if you are then you will need to live like it. The man works, provides for the home without bitching about it or threatening to leave the stay at home mom and kids on their broke ass.

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