Mental Noise

We go about life with so much mental noise. Small things trigger thoughts, which trigger emotions, which trigger behavior, which trigger decisions, which trigger life events. All that mental noise can have serious consequences and sometimes lead us down a less than desirable path. Some of us may be able to look back and pick out that one mental noise which sent us on a whirlwind of a ride, but we never remember why we allowed it to be our driver in the first place. The interesting truth is, we as people should know ourselves better than anyone, we know our own likes and dislikes, we should know what makes us happy, afraid or what is good for us; yet we go about life relying on external triggers, people's opinions of ourselves, other people's success as our example and our good old friend fear to push us in whatever direction it wishes to. I have long heard allowing yourself to be silent in the mind, will manifest everything you truly want. As difficult as it may be, it is important we shut off the mental noise and just hear nothing so our mind can rest and refresh, flushing out all the negative and learning how to recognize our own ability to feel our god given instincts so WE become the driver of our lives.

10LE's "My path"

FEAR

By definition, FEAR is "a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid." For me, fear is the drunk friend who I need to send to rehab so it can come back and experience life sober. I have allowed for this friend to hang around for a long time. Giving it shot after shot of tequila and keeping it obliterated so life never looks completely possible. I stumble with it and instead of allowing it to pass out and sleep, I carry it around with me to my next chapter and feed it some more. There are also people that come around who help me keep my friend wasted and who actually enjoy seeing my friend and I attached and codependent. They introduce me to their drunk friends who apparently they carry around as well. The distraction of the lush never allows for me to attend to what I truly want in life. It keeps me in its fog and drains the life out of me. It convinces me that if I just let it sleep to sober up, I will not be able to survive without it. It has persuaded me that life for me is only supposed to be a struggle and the only way to get through it, is to carry the drunk around with me so I feel protected and prepared. However, I also have another friend named FAITH. FAITH is pure and honest. It makes sure I stop to smell the roses and joins me on long walks to make sure I am taking in what life has to offer. It listens to every single word I say and tells me everything I wish for, I will achieve. It opens my heart so I may pour it all out while filling it right back up again with the most sobering love. It has been knocking on my door for a while, but FEAR has made me keep FAITH outside, never allowing it to come in but waiting patiently. Until now!! I put fear on a plane to the best rehab one can go to. It's probably doing deep meditative yoga right now and kicking itself in the ass for not sobering up sooner. As for FAITH and I, well, we are moving along very nicely and wish FEAR all the best.

AD's "North Shore, HI Sunrise"

Thank You

Life has thrown a few curve balls, taken me way up high and has sent me free falling. It has never explained it's puzzling outcomes fully and has often left me asking more questions. It has given me the wonderful gift of a son and has taken away people who have taught me to show my teeth when I smile, to marry my career before any man and that it will not be your accomplishments that you will boast about on your death bed, but your family. It has shown me beauty comes from the inside out and it is always best to be kind. It has shown me that what I resist, persists; no matter how long I put it off, it will come back to remind me to liberate myself from it again until I do. It has allowed for me to peak into my future and has opened my eyes to the things that I have always wanted. It has given me obstacles to overcome so I may look back and know I am a better person today than yesterday and will be a better person tomorrow than I am today. Through all of the missed curve balls, highs, lows and vertigo I will say THANK YOU to life. Thank you for giving me everything I have asked for, in whichever way it came wrapped.

10LE's "Where the Journey may go...." 

Relationships 101-11 lessons learned

1. Never try to save someone from themselves, in the end, the one who will need saving is you.
2. Understand everyone loves differently. Some love with cooking you dinner and some love with leaving you a note to remind you how wonderful you are.
3. If someone is only impressed by your material wealth, expect a hollow heart.
4. Always listen when you hear and think before you speak.
5. Be the person you want the other to be.
6. Give to give and receive with appreciation and without expectation
7. Always argue fair and never point a finger in blame. Remember when you are pointing your finger at someone, three of them are pointing right back at you.
8. Never be ashamed to SHOW love. Even if it means you may get rejected. Love is better expressed than repressed.
9. When a relationship ends, no matter the circumstances, let go of it along with any anger or resentment. Wish the person well and hope they find a better love than what you gave. Energy is reciprocated, what you put out you get back.
10. A broken heart will heal. The next person to hold it is not responsible for what happened to it before.
11. Choose someone who will make you a better person. 

Salvador Dali's Love's Promises

Assholes and egos...they are everywhere!

" I can only be verbally hurt, if I give the person trying to hurt me, the permission to do so."- Gandhi

I have had some interesting relationships in my 30 years of life. I have come to realize these days, the disappointment of the way a person makes me feel should not be towards them, but towards myself for giving them the permission to make me feel a certain way. We give our power away to people and then expect them to take care of it when the power should stay with us and we should guard it and use it in positive ways. Although I like to assume the best of people, I have noticed the nature of people are based on their ego and their ego will always speak and take action before their spirit does. Ego is selfish and insecure, which drives negative action towards others. You can never expect to win a fight by allowing your ego to speak for you. So don't allow it to do so, speak from your spirit, where there is understanding and love. Even though your ego may say you have to be right, it is always better to be kind. A kinder world, is a better world.

Always remember this.....Assholes=ego! They are everywhere!!

Sheep....notice.

Notice how during commercial breaks from the news, there are advertisements for anti depressant medication. They feed you the negative and then tell you how to make yourself feel better. Notice how when we see the gas prices drop from $3.89 to $3.25, we celebrate. Those $0.64 can't even buy you a pack of gum. Notice how everything is a war; War on drugs, War on terrorism, War on poverty etc. War by definition is the following: a conflict carried on by force of arms, as between nations or between parties within a nation; warfare, as by land, sea, or air or a state or period of armed hostility or active military operations,conflict; We are taught to live with conflict. Notice how every medication has a side effect, which needs to be suppressed with another medication which has its own side effects and that one also needs another medication to have THAT side effect suppressed. Next thing you know, you are taking 5 different pills for back pain. You can also bet on getting addicted to the one that makes your pain all better for a little while. So while you are looking for your 5th doctor to get a pain pill prescription from, they will probably get a kickback from the pharmaceutical companies for prescribing it and you have just contributed to the multi-billion dollar industry which is the Pharmaceutical empire. Notice how after your child watches something on Nick Jr. or the Disney Channel, they have their next birthday and Christmas list put together, and also have a few things to add to your grocery list. Notice how congressmen/women quietly invest in companies related to Oil, Banking,Insurance and Weapons but scream when bills are suggested to benefit education, health care and the middle class. They only scream loud if you are in their pockets. Notice how the obesity, cancer, heart disease and diabetes rate in the U.S. is the highest in the industrial world but fast foods, processed foods, foods which have been modified with whatever the FDA says is ok (hormones) are significantly cheaper than the organic healthier alternative. Notice also Obesity leads to high cholesterol, heart disease, high blood pressure which all require medicine which further contributes to that empire we talked about earlier. Correlation? Maybe. Finally, notice, we are all sheep and the big bad wolves are having a field day. They are not hungry anymore and now just do what they do because they can. Baaa baaa baaaaaaa......So Sheep....NOTICE!

Question intent and then question some more!

The Death Approach

I have always believed that it is not death that we get sad about, but the suffering that leads ones life to it. After all, death is part of life and is the one thing we will all experience. However, I have had family members and friends who have passed on and I have struggled with understanding why there is so much sadness attached to a person dying. Even for the religious people, who believe after we die we have eternal life (depending on which religion). So why be sad about someone passing on to have eternal life....should that not be a celebration? When in human existence did we decide something so certain like death is so devastating it can send a person to a mental institution when someone they are attached to passes on?Actually, I would like to admit I believe a child dying is devastating. Maybe because we all are entitled to live our lives until we get old and gray? Or maybe because we have lived with the assumption that the correct chronology for death is parents first then children?

10LE's "The sun, myself and Jack Johnson"

I don't believe there is a correct approach on how to feel about death. I believe we are emotional beings who create attachments to people, where we often get comfortable and used to having them close enough to hug. We get used to seeing someone every day and often there is a comfort in knowing someone is a phone call away. When that comfort is interrupted, the interruption creates a void; We do not know how to fill a void which was filled with an attachment to someone who is not comparable to anyone else. Maybe the fear of the unknown; The not knowing for certain if there is a heaven or hell, or where the spirit goes once it leaves its shell, can leaves us shaken and sad. Maybe sadness comes from the realization that nothing lasts forever and that all things are temporary, good or bad. However, if we can step out of the sadness of death, we may be able to find a place of peace and gratefulness. We can be grateful for the opportunity to have created attachments to someone who is not comparable to anyone else, we can be grateful to have had the opportunity to feel love for someone, we can be grateful to have had the opportunity to experience life and to have been invited to take part in someones journey. We can be grateful and find peace that in the end, all of our outcomes are the same; We all die and if we would like to believe, we all meet again.