Mental Noise

We go about life with so much mental noise. Small things trigger thoughts, which trigger emotions, which trigger behavior, which trigger decisions, which trigger life events. All that mental noise can have serious consequences and sometimes lead us down a less than desirable path. Some of us may be able to look back and pick out that one mental noise which sent us on a whirlwind of a ride, but we never remember why we allowed it to be our driver in the first place. The interesting truth is, we as people should know ourselves better than anyone, we know our own likes and dislikes, we should know what makes us happy, afraid or what is good for us; yet we go about life relying on external triggers, people's opinions of ourselves, other people's success as our example and our good old friend fear to push us in whatever direction it wishes to. I have long heard allowing yourself to be silent in the mind, will manifest everything you truly want. As difficult as it may be, it is important we shut off the mental noise and just hear nothing so our mind can rest and refresh, flushing out all the negative and learning how to recognize our own ability to feel our god given instincts so WE become the driver of our lives.

10LE's "My path"

FEAR

By definition, FEAR is "a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid." For me, fear is the drunk friend who I need to send to rehab so it can come back and experience life sober. I have allowed for this friend to hang around for a long time. Giving it shot after shot of tequila and keeping it obliterated so life never looks completely possible. I stumble with it and instead of allowing it to pass out and sleep, I carry it around with me to my next chapter and feed it some more. There are also people that come around who help me keep my friend wasted and who actually enjoy seeing my friend and I attached and codependent. They introduce me to their drunk friends who apparently they carry around as well. The distraction of the lush never allows for me to attend to what I truly want in life. It keeps me in its fog and drains the life out of me. It convinces me that if I just let it sleep to sober up, I will not be able to survive without it. It has persuaded me that life for me is only supposed to be a struggle and the only way to get through it, is to carry the drunk around with me so I feel protected and prepared. However, I also have another friend named FAITH. FAITH is pure and honest. It makes sure I stop to smell the roses and joins me on long walks to make sure I am taking in what life has to offer. It listens to every single word I say and tells me everything I wish for, I will achieve. It opens my heart so I may pour it all out while filling it right back up again with the most sobering love. It has been knocking on my door for a while, but FEAR has made me keep FAITH outside, never allowing it to come in but waiting patiently. Until now!! I put fear on a plane to the best rehab one can go to. It's probably doing deep meditative yoga right now and kicking itself in the ass for not sobering up sooner. As for FAITH and I, well, we are moving along very nicely and wish FEAR all the best.

AD's "North Shore, HI Sunrise"

Thank You

Life has thrown a few curve balls, taken me way up high and has sent me free falling. It has never explained it's puzzling outcomes fully and has often left me asking more questions. It has given me the wonderful gift of a son and has taken away people who have taught me to show my teeth when I smile, to marry my career before any man and that it will not be your accomplishments that you will boast about on your death bed, but your family. It has shown me beauty comes from the inside out and it is always best to be kind. It has shown me that what I resist, persists; no matter how long I put it off, it will come back to remind me to liberate myself from it again until I do. It has allowed for me to peak into my future and has opened my eyes to the things that I have always wanted. It has given me obstacles to overcome so I may look back and know I am a better person today than yesterday and will be a better person tomorrow than I am today. Through all of the missed curve balls, highs, lows and vertigo I will say THANK YOU to life. Thank you for giving me everything I have asked for, in whichever way it came wrapped.

10LE's "Where the Journey may go...."